Understanding the Expectations of Good Children According to Your Mom

Parental expectations can often be complex and intertwined with cultural and traditional norms. In my experience, every mother seems to have a different idea of what constitutes a 'good child.' For my mother, being a good child meant adhering to a set of specific behavioral and physical standards. This article explores these expectations and the multifaceted nature of motherly definitions of what makes a 'good child.'

The Criteria for a 'Good Child'

According to my mother, a good child should:

Dress as Chosen

One of the primary expectations is that the child follows her fashion choices. This includes wearing the dress she selects, even if it is not the chosen style or attire for the occasion. This mindset underscores the idea that a child should never challenge or express her personal sense of fashion, but rather conform to her mother's preferences.

Obey and Marry as Directed

The second criterion is that the child should marry the partner chosen by her mother. This suggests that a daughter should consider her mother's wishes and accept a marriage proposal without question.

Procreation and Beauty Standards

A good daughter is not only expected to marry the chosen partner but also to bear a granddaughter whenever her mother wishes. This expectation aligns with traditional notions of familial continuity and honor. Additionally, a beautiful daughter is seen as a source of pride and fulfillment for her mother, with an emphasis on physical appearance being a primary measure of attractiveness.

Submissiveness and Agreement

A key aspect of this expectation is full agreement, even consorting with the lies and boastful narratives favored by her mother. This suggests a level of subservience where the child's autonomy is secondary to her mother's wishes and perceived reality. The ability to conform to these expectations in all circumstances, regardless of personal beliefs or desires, is seen as a critical attribute.

Food Preferences and Eating Habits

Food choices also fall under a strict set of guidelines. A good daughter should enjoy the delicacies her mother enjoys and avoid foods her mother dislikes. This reflects a deep-seated relationship between the mother's tastes and those of her daughter, indicating an intimate bond but also a form of control over the daughter's behavior.

Availability and Unconditional Support

Moreover, being a good child means being always by her mother's side, regardless of the circumstances. This includes eating with her when she is hungry, even if the child is not, and being present and silent when her mother tries to undermine her own self-worth. This unwavering support is expected despite the personal inconveniences or discomforts.

Beauty and Self-Awareness

A good daughter is not only beautiful by her mother's standards but is also deeply conscious of her appearance. This includes maintaining a flawless skin regimen even if she is going upstairs to her home. The emphasis on constant self-improvement and beauty reflect a deep-rooted societal pressure to maintain a certain aesthetic.

Conclusion: The Complexity of Motherly Expectations

Despite the perfect adherence to these expectations, my mother still questions the adequacy of being a 'good daughter.' This highlights the inherent complexity and often paradoxical nature of these expectations. While they seek to secure familial honor and pride, they also impose a heavy burden of compliance and conformity.

It is essential to navigate these expectations with an understanding of their origins and to seek a balance that respects traditions while fostering self-identity and individuality.

Thus, understanding the multifaceted nature of what a 'good child' means to your mother and discussing these expectations openly can help in finding a harmonious path between tradition and personal freedom.

Additional Resources

To learn more about the complexities of parental expectations and the impacts of traditional norms, here are some resources:

How Much Do Parents Influence Your Identity? The Top 10 Worst Parenting Advice Ever Parental Expectations and Adolescent Identity Development: A Sociocultural Perspective